Lettuce Sandwich, from Newcastle-upon-Tyne could not have been any more angry following their gig last Saturday night at Wet Willy's, when their girlfriends told them how terrible the sound was from the audience.
The band's bassist, who shall remain anonymous because nobody cares enough to find out his name, said "We showed up half an hour before our set - what more do people want? Like, we didn't soundcheck because..."
The remainder of that quote shall remain unknown, as all listeners could hear was "Whiney whiney blah blah blah."
When the band and their girlfriends had given the promoter and the sound engineer a piece of their mind regarding the poor quality of Lettuce Sandwich's sound, both the promoter and the sound engineer left the venue. The promoter went home and settled in front of an episode of Baywatch, with a nice mug of tea and two chocolate digestives, whilst the sound engineer met friends for pints before going to a late club, going back to somebody's flat to smoke some weed, and got the first bus home via McDonalds.
On Sunday morning, Lettuce Sandwich took to respected social media network, Facebook, where they posted the following status:
"WARNING!!! Stay away frm Wett Willys!! Playd ther lst nite and sound was SHIT! Pormoter an eng dint give a shit just left after keep away!!!"
The post received five likes: two from members of the band; two from girlfriends of band members; and one from their friend, "Dave Whoppercock Legend" who was unable to attend the gig. Dave also left the only comment on the status, saying: "Sounds like it woz a shit 1 m8! Wot a bunch of nobs."
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